Umuntu wese ageze mu bigero, kenshi na kenshi, arahitamwo kwabira canke kwabirwa. Canke kubireka. Biranashika mugabo akazazanirwa, bikamugora gufata ingingo ; akibaza nimba atoba aruguyemwo, hamwe yofata ingingo yo kwubaka urwiwe. Ng’utu utubazo wokwifashisha.
« Amaso akunda ntabona neza » ; nk’uko ba sokuru bayamaze. Ico umuntu ategerezwa kumenya ni uko ingingo yoba afashe yo kwubaka urwiwe itoba ishingiye ku bishobisho, nyabuna yoba azi neza uwo bagira bafatane iyo ngingo ihambaye.
Hari rero bimwe mu bibazo umuntu yabwirizwa kwisunga mu gufata iyo ngingo : mbega uramuzi ? Iyo ari muhira iwabo, mu bagenzi biwe canke abawe, yitwara gute ? Ivyo bishobora kukwereka ko uwo muntu yisanzura ari kumwe n’abandi bantu, kandi adahindagurika.
Ikindi woraba ni uko mutahurana kandi muhuriza kuri vyinshi, haba mu bijanye n’imibonano mpuzabitsina, ibishobisho, ubumenyi… Aha ni ukumenya ko kugira imibonano mpuzabitsina kenshi atari co cerekana ko muzokwubakana. Mutegerezwa nyabuna kwiyumvanamwo, ikiguye nabi umwe kikababaza uwundi, ndetse n’ikimuryohera kigahimbara uwundi.
Ikiyago
Hari ikindi kintu gihambaye, iyo kitameze neza gishobora kuba inkwezi y’amarere. Ni ukuganira. Iyo hari ibiguhimbaye canke ibikuguye nabi, hanyuma ukabona ntiwobimutura ataco umuhishije, canke mu kuganira na we utishongora canke utibaza ngo ahava akugaya, aho haba hari agahaze gakomeye.
Mbega, ico mutahurijeko murafata umwanya wo kukiganira mu nyuma, mutekanye nk’abagenzi badahemana ? Waba inkumi canke umusore, urategerezwa kumenya ko mwubahana, ukegeranya ivyo umushimako n’ivyo unegura muri we. Urashobora kuvyandika ahantu, ukamufasha gukosora utunenge, ukanamubwira ico ukunda muri we kugira ngo akibandanye.
Birashika abantu bagapfa ingene urubanza rw’ubugeni canke urwo gukwa rwogenda. Hari uwushaka inkwano nini, uwundi ntavyemere ; hari uwushaka ubugeni bwuzuyemwo ibirori, uwundi akipfuza kugira ibiciye bugufi. Ivyo biracanishamwo abakundanye, mbere bakanabipfa. Ni ukubiyaga, mukumvikana kare.
Kazoza
Ico umuntu akora na co nyene kirahinduka. Igikwiye rero ni uko mwovugana imbere y’igihe, umwe wese ico yipfuza kuzokora canke kuba. Birashobora no gushika umwe akabandanya amashure, mubwirizwa kwumvikana uko uwundi azokwifata kugira ngo abesheho umuryango wenyene.
Uko mubwirizwa kuvugana vyinshi, ni ko mutokwibagira no kubazanya nimba hari abantu muzotunga mu nzu yanyu. Mbega mbega bazoba ari ab’i bugabo canke i bugore ? Murabihurizako? Aho rero, ntitwibagiye ibijanye n’abana mwipfuza kuvyara. Ico rero mutegerezwa kukiganira mukakinoganza.
Kubera ko atazibana zidakomanya amahembe, mu rugo birashika cane mukagira ico mupfa. Umwe wese arafise uko aca avyitwaramwo. Ni ukuraba uko bihora bigenda iyo mugize ako mudahurizako. Uko avyifatamwo, urabe ko uzoshora kubirengera canke utobikenyererako. Mbega hoho, mwoba mwaraganiriye ibijanye n’uburenganzira bw’umukenyezi, amabanga y’abubatse arimwo gukubagurwa, aho musengera, ubwoko canke imiryango muvamwo n’ibindi ?
Ntawokwirengagiza kuvuga ibijanye n’amafaranga. Ubwirizwa kubona ko ukuntu uwo mugomba mufatane iyo ngingo akoresha amafaranga. Mbega ntasesagura? Ntayakunda cane kugeza aho yiyima ivya nkenerwa? Muraganira ibijanye n’amafaranga ata kurya umunwa? Mbega mwempi muzozana amafaranga mu rugo canke umwe muri mwebwe azobeshwaho n’uwundi?
Kenshi urata umutwe
Ugira ugire ubugeni, kenshi usanga umengo wataye umutwe, ukaranda imitsi wibaza ivyo ugiye kubamwo. Birumvikana cane ko umuntu atobura amakenga, kuko aba agira afate ingingo izomuhindura wese. Ikindi gihagarika umutima ni ibijanye n’uburyo buzokenerwa mu rubanza nyezina. N’aho nyene, ikibwirizwa kuba ni ukuganira n’uno mugira mwubakane. Hari ababona ko bagiye gusa n’ababoshwe, batazosubira kwishira ngo bizane.
Ikizira kikazirirzwa coco, ntihagire umuntu n’umwe arongora canke arongorwa kubera igitsure c’abantu. Ubona ufise amakenga, subira ufate akanya uvyitondere, urindire ntimugire urwo rubanza gihutihuti. Ubaze umutima, ntiwubake kugira ngo uce usambura; mwahukane. Ingingo uzofata ni iy’ubuzima bwawe bwose. Vyoba vyiza wigije inyuma canke mbere ukanasivya ubugeni hakurugwamwo.
Raba umuntu w’umwizigirwa umuganirire. Ashobora kuba uwuzokubera umwishingizi (parrain, marraine), incuti yawe, uwo musengera hamwe canke uwundi muntu.